I am a video game player, it’s true. I own a Playstation 3, but while many others of my generation grew up on their NES and SNES and Genesis and moved onward from there, my first gaming rig was my PC. I played Hack (now Nethack, quite possibly the most complete ASCII adventure game ever created) at the tender age of 2 — in fact, it’s the reason I learned to read. From there I quickly moved on with the times, playing Wolfenstein 3D, and then Wing Commander and then began playing cooperative multiplayer for the first time in Doom. I played the 3 episodes of Doom so many times I can hardly count them (and much of that time was spent at my father’s office where he worked as a computer software engineer — we used the massive LAN and the cubes of a couple of his friends, as well as the phone system so that we basically had a co-op game and voice chat in 1993).

So, where most others fall to their consoles for gaming, I find my PC.

It was such that I found Left 4 Dead.

As a fan of Valve, but someone who’d never actually made it through Half-Life or Half-Life 2 (I really need a co-op experience in order to properly play a game, which is why I’ve been quite happy that there have been more and more co-op games hitting the market) I’ve played countless hours of Day of Defeat, and Day of Defeat: Source when they became available for consumption. I would never have gotten into DoD if it weren’t for my co-workers at the time, who persuaded me to learn the game and then join their clan.

My brother, a big fan of the zombie genre in general, suggested that we should try Left 4 Dead. Now, I’m not a fan of the zombie genre at all, but it was a chance for a co-op experience, so I decided that we should pick it up. And pick it up we did.

The game is fast-paced, frenetic, and tons of fun on all of its difficulty levels. Because of an AI called ‘The Director’ (that controls the various monsters in Campaign Mode, as well as subtly changing the levels and where things like ammunition and health kits appear, as well as making things harder for you when you’re doing well and easier when you’re losing miserably) the levels are never the same twice. I’ve played through the campaign known as ‘No Mercy’, set in a hospital, probably 25-30 times, and it’s never been exactly the same twice. Tactics differ, sometimes it’s much harder and sometimes it’s much easier. In Versus mode, where other players control the ‘special’ zombies, it can be even more different, as it entirely depends on the skill of the other team just how easy or difficult it is to play through.

Co-operation is not only an option, it is absolutely essential. If someone gets separated from the group, they’re bound to be pounced by a Hunter or grabbed by a Smoker, and if they get surrounded by zombies after being covered in Boomer bile they’re as good as dead.

There is a limited set of zombie-killing instruments, including a pump shotgun and Uzi at first, as well as the trusty .45 handgun, and then a second set of well-balanced implements of murder including an M-16, a hunting rifle with scope, and an aut0-shotgun. Health packs will restore much of your bloodied HP. As you’re damaged, your character will run slower and slower as they limp along. A quick dose of pain pills will temporarily relieve the agony so that they can run at full speed again, but for a limited time.

The visuals are solid, but not overly lifelike, although the characters have enough… well, character… that they seem almost like real people. They’ll cry out when hurt, and make snide remarks when they’re doing well. Zoey (the girl of the group) is a horror-movie buff, and makes a comment at one point about how the Infected “have no right to be so fast. I’m calling… zombie bullshit on this.”  The Infected themselves come in waves, and it’s difficult to get more than a quick glance at them when you’re mowing them down with the various tools of destruction. Technically speaking though, there’s no way the game’s graphics could be more advanced and still allow for so many Infected to appear on screen at once without causing horrific lag, so I have zero complaints about the graphics. They do not detract from the experience, and the atmosphere that Valve has created is pitch-perfect.

Replayability is very, very high in Left 4 Dead. Very high. Insanely high, for all the reasons above. It’s never the same twice, and even though the levels look familiar, it’s a different experience every time.

Having since watched both Dawn of the Dead (remake) and 28 Days Later, it’s easy to see a lot of the influences that created this game. There were a lot of shots in Dawn of the Dead that looked very similar to points in the game, and the Infected themselves resemble the Infected from 28 Days Later… a lot. There’s even a point in 28 Days Later where the hero is wearing a hooded sweatshirt, and it looks like Valve may have designed the Hunter from those shots. It’s obvious that the game designers really paid attention to the creations that have molded the genre, and were truly, truly inspired.

There’s a few drawbacks… the dedicated servers are extremely glitchy, and many times I’ve been forced to make 2 or 3 attempts at creating a game before finding a stable server. If we’re playing Campaign, it’s come to the point where I just host it locally on my computer, because there’s no point in attempting to find a lag-free dedicated server. For a while after the first patch it seemed like they would be better, but it really has gotten worse again. It seems like other players have difficulty joining a game after it’s started now, too, which is even more frustrating, trying to get friends in after the fact.

Most of the problems I have with the game are technical. Yes, it’s frustrating to find a team online which is incredibly more skilled than you are, but practice seems to have taken care of most of those worries. My brother and I are now an incredibly deadly team both as Survivors and Infected for versus matches, and we’re able to work with whoever else joins in to make sure that the Survivors never see the safe room on the other end.

Left 4 Dead: 9 out of 10

I simply love the concept of science fantasy.

I know, I know. It’s a shameful thing to love, but I can’t help myself. Funny thing is though, quite possibly the most well-known science fantasy out there is Star Wars, and I’m pretty lukewarm towards it. I mean, it’s great and all, the Jedi are damn cool, but I’m really just not a fan of George Lucas’ writing, or plotting or cinematography or… anything really. I think the Star Wars universe is great, but the actual execution thereof… not so much.

I also really like the concept of the Warhammer 40,000 universe, which is also sort of a deep-future science fantasy, although darker and much more grim than Star Wars.

I would really like to see more written in this genre. It seems like we either get traditional, high fantasy replete with elves and swords, science-fiction set on alien worlds, or that weird in-between known as urban fantasy where we have vampires and werewolves (and occasionally other mythological creatures) running rampant on the streets of most major metropolitan cities, though most of the human race seems not to notice.

The idea of a post-apocalyptic setting rife with magic, sorcerers battling it out with marines armed with explosives and heavy weaponry, of sword-wielding heroes infiltrating forgotten advanced installations still blinking with lights and technology… that’s about my favorite idea in the whole world. I just haven’t figured out a good way to execute it yet.

On a day when news like this and this and this was all over the place.

And yet, almost the entire market gained a not inconsiderable percentage.

This was NOT a good day, people! Why? Why?

I mean, I’m all for the stock market continuing to go up. In fact, I haven’t even looked at one of my 401(k) statements in several months. I don’t even look, because there’s no point in looking. If the market goes up, though, that’s good news for me.

What boggles my mind the most is that there is no rhyme or reason to any of this. I wish that someone would come and tell me that there was some kind of reason behind how the market works… and if the answer is actually ‘it’s all based on the arbitrary emotions of the people on Wall Street’ then please, please spare me that cruel truth and let me live in my illusions that the world has some kind of sense left in it.

Until I find out that there is a reason, or that it really is based on the beliefs and fears of a bunch of people in overly-expensive Armani suits who hang out in Manhattan (of all places), I will continue to be baffled. In a very prolific way.

I’ve been following the search for extrasolar planets fairly closely, reveling in every new bit of news. See, I grew up on science fiction and fantasy (before you ask – the answer is Star Trek) and I’m fascinated by the idea that we may be able to find other habitable planets out there in the galaxy.

So, admittedly, they haven’t found one yet, but that’s got a lot to do with the fact that it’s really tough to find them with our current tech level. They keep refining their methods though, and they keep finding smaller and smaller ones that might someday lead us to a realization that there may be a second home for our species closer by than we think. I believe, as Stephen Hawking does, that mankind’s destiny is to spread to the stars. I don’t know how we’re going to do it exactly, as people seem to keep coming to the conclusion that there’s no way to break the lightspeed barrier, but maybe we’ll just have to make do with massive sub-light colony ships.

I don’t know how they’re going to do it, but I hope that I at least live long enough to confirm the existence of another Earth-like world somewhere in our arm of the Milky Way. At least that way I can die with a real hope that someday we might be able to extend our reach to somewhere amazing, somewhere incredible… somewhere absolutely new.

I think that would make dying easier for me.

Riddle me this: how is it, that for three days we’ve had reports of massive layoffs and poor earnings, and on each and every one of those days, the overall stock market has seen an increase… and now, on a day when the news just ain’t that bad — neither CNN Money nor Forbes are screaming about horrible, horrible things happening — the DOW plummets by 244 points?

What. The. Fuck.

Seriously here, people.

Why?

I really don’t understand the stock market at all, apparently. Shouldn’t it be forced to follow SOME kind of reason? How is it possible that it can be COMPLETELY arbitrary whether our citizenry panics or not? The economy as a whole may not be directly influenced by the stock market, but consumer confidence sure is. Why can these people not just find some sort of happy medium? Instead of gaining strongly two days and then leaping off the fucking cliff again the day after, why not just not move at all? It would improve confidence like crazy, because every day in the red makes people go batshit insane.

Really. This has to stop, or at least calm the hell down. We’re not going to get anywhere until the consumers get some confidence back, and when every major news network is screaming about the market plummeting again after two short days of gains, we are really not helping the problem.

Obama Stimulus Package Really Socialism?

Here’s a surprise: it’s written by Glenn Beck.

Oh, what’s that you say? It’s not a surprise at all. I’m sorry.

Glenn occasionally brings up a few good points here or there. Back during election season, I found myself agreeing with him from time to time, which I found odd, seeing as when I was essentially forced to listen to his radio show (during Driver’s Ed, where the instructor apparently thought it was a good idea to listen to conservative talk radio during the student’s driving lessons) I didn’t agree with him a whit. In fact, I thought he was kind of nuts. Turns out that he does, occasionally, have a point.

What irks me here, though, is this:

“But what they’re doing now — using fear to promote long-term changes to the country — is exactly the kind of thing that has led to the biggest deficit of all: the deficit of trust we now have in our leaders.”

Okay Glenn. Admittedly, you’ve got a point there. However, I hardly see how this is fear-mongering. Maybe I’m just desensitized to fear-based politics after the last 8 years of administrative horror-flicks. Perhaps it’s because I’ve seen so many long-term changes to both our fundamental freedoms as Americans and as human beings in the name of fear during the administration of Mr. George W. Bush (DMCA? PATRIOT Act? Warrantless wiretapping? …hello? Is this thing on?) that I hardly see the passage of a huge economic bill as fear-mongering. The economy actually sucks, in case you didn’t notice, unlike when there weren’t actually any WMDs in Iraq.

He does make a few good points here though. Why is it that so little of the money is to be spent on the things that are being touted as the reason for this package? More importantly… where is the rest of the damn money going?

On all those points, Glenn, I agree. But I don’t think pandering to your base and riling up the fear of ‘socialism’ is the right way to get your point across. How can you possibly condemn the administration for using fear as a weapon when you’re doing the very same thing in your editorial?

Of course, I’m just a guy with a blog. You’re on FOX.

Obviously, you’re more important than I am. You certainly have more money than I do. In our capitalist society, that makes you more right than me. Right?

So seriously. Get this, okay?

Chrysler gets American taxpayer money in the bailout. They then (somehow) think that it’s a good idea to BLOW a crap-ton of that money placing full-page ads in places like the Wall Street Journal… thanking us for the money? Did they not get the memo that most Americans thought the auto bailout was a bad idea? What happy-go-lucky universe do these auto execs live in that they can fly corporate jets to Washington to beg for money, then do a second trip in a hybrid car, and think that the average American is going to have any sympathy for how they’ve run their companies into the ground?

WHAT?!

I’m backtracking in my head here, trying to figure out who could have possibly thought this was a good idea. I mean, okay, I get the sentiment. They’re trying to show appreciation for the fact that we’ve not allowed them to fall on their collective asses, like they probably should have for putting out barely-passable automobiles and allowing our auto manufacturing to be so greatly surpassed by the Japanese (mind you, I’m a Honda man and I probably will always be, unless some kind of a miracle happens) by creating generally bland-looking, fuel-guzzling SUVs and crap-tastic sedans that nobody in their right mind would want to drive.

Way to go, Chrysler. Couldn’t you have, you know, actually put that money toward some R&D? How about a car that gets 35 MPG and looks halfway decent? Maybe something that won’t fall apart within 100k miles guaranteed? How about creating something that somebody would want to buy more than a Hyundai or a Kia? Anybody think of that?

Was it really, really worth it to flaunt your own egos and “thank” the American public — the ones who all kinda wanted to see you fall apart and go bankrupt for being so incredibly stupid for so very, very long?

I think they should revoke Chrysler’s bailout money just for this stupid stunt.

No luck there, though. It seems that when something like the historic inauguration of the first black man (or frankly, the first man anything other than old and white, well, ever) happens, the whole world grinds to a halt. Everything even remotely interesting stops happening at all. It’s as if the whole world is holding their collective breath for a day. Everywhere I look, it’s inauguration coverage: the parade, the ceremony, the luncheon, the everything.

It must be hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars at work out there, letting the whole world know that “we’ve changed now, we promise! Look, we’re finally doing something about the last, horrific 8 years and we want to be the good guys again! See? See? This guy can actually string a sentence together!”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not fan of the Dubya, but nor do I think that Obama has come to liberate the whole world. The man’s a gifted orator, I’ll give him that, but trust is gained only through work and deeds. He talks a good game, but now it’s time for him to prove that he can play it with the best of them. It’s a tough world out there, you know, what with our economy tanking (that just doesn’t seem to be getting any better now, does it?) this new war between Israel and Palestine (why can’t we just build a new Promised Land? Oh right, because the tenets of religion apparently include murdering everyone who doesn’t think the same way we do, and that’s way more important, than, you know, THOU SHALT NOT KILL. Seriously, did God somewhere include a clause that said, in very tiny letters “unless they believe something slightly different from you”?? I’m pretty sure He didn’t…) not to mention everything else that’s going on. We haven’t even touched on North Korea and Russia…

Oh, wait, there we go. I did it. I went there.

So really. We’re out of the playoffs (to use a sports analogy that I probably don’t completely understand, being as I’m clearly a geek and therefore know nothing about sports) and on to the big game.

It’s a big, scary world. Can we stop pissing the rest of it off, now? Before they decide to do something about it?

Please?

Someone please stop him.

Please?

I mean… I’m not even a fan, but…

Please?

The first thing I have to say is: wow.

My first job was at Circuit City, selling computers to normal folk. It was a process, learning how to sell, dealing with quotas and selling “service” (read: extended warranties) and hearing the inspiring speech every morning about how we were going to reach our sales goals and strive to serve every customer!

Now, occasionally we actually did reach our goals. At the store I worked at, we did a fair job of serving the customers. Most of our customers came in angry at the folks who worked at the local Best Buy, and left considerably happier than when they’d come in.  Our store had management that cared, and employees that (for the most part) actually gave a damn about their job.

Now, I know that such was not the case at other stores across the country, but ours certainly was.

I see many people across the web commenting on these stories venomously, about how they were served badly at a specific store and therefore the whole company deserves to shut down. Really? Seriously? So you think that we will be better served by removing competition from the marketplace, huh?

I think that if you’re stupid enough to be glad that CC is going out of business, you should be forced to sign a waiver stating that you will never, ever sue Best Buy, no matter how much you get screwed.

I, for one, will miss my former employer greatly. Probably not as much as the people who still work there will, I figure, but I’ll miss them nonetheless. I still have some friends who worked there (and some who don’t, who are actually probably pretty glad today that they got laid off before and aren’t looking for a job now) and I hope that they find some new gainful employment in the very short-term.

Also, I’ll miss the 10% gamer’s discount that I got there. And my line of credit. I never could have gotten my PS3 without that credit line.

Too bad I’ll still have to pay it off.

I bid a fond farewell to my retailer of choice, and not just because I worked there… frankly, I can’t stand our local Best Buy, but I guess there’s no choice in the matter now. Unless I want to go to Sears…? GameStop will serve my gaming needs for the most part, but I dread the day when I’ll be forced to set foot in Best Buy, for whatever reason it may be.

Red vs. Blue — Red lost. PWNED. STFU, noob. QQ, etc.